Posted on: by Bearskinrug

Our shredder destroys important papers so quickly and efficiently. It’s really inspirational for the dog.

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Featuring the noblest beast of the forest, a Clown.

Birthday Street 44Fear of Clowns

Featuring several hilarious injuries!

Birthday Street 41Trouser Trauma Unit

Posted on: by Bearskinrug

There’s no greater proof that mankind will destroy itself with technology, than our use of it to make movies where babies and animals talk.

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Featuring Professor Lance Gallant and Rufus!

Birthday Street 38The Time Machismo

Posted on: by Bearskinrug

I believe I’ve been wrongly imprisoned. I should be in here for public nudity, not public drunkenness.

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Featuring Farmer Mac!

Birthday Street 35Phantom Limb

Featuring The Easter Bunny and Miss November!

Birthday Street 32The Easter Bunny Returns

Posted on: by Bearskinrug

That construction guy didn’t have to hit me. My keys fell down the grate! “Can I use your manhole?” was a perfectly legitimate question!

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Featuring cookie-baking elves!

Birthday Street 29Bungle and the Code Blue

Featuring some of the most erotic buildings I've ever drawn!

Birthday Street 26Decisions Made Up Top

Posted on: by Bearskinrug

…And then I just backed up over it a couple times with my car. Again, if you missed me saying it before, I found Bigfoot.

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Featuring several very satisfied characters! And one unsatisfied one.

Birthday Street 23When The Volcanoes Cry

Featuring Sandra the Speed Dating Woman, Grippy, and Dude!

Birthday Street 20Grippy And Dude

Posted on: by Bearskinrug

This meatloaf is like a fine wine. In that I made it with my feet.

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Featuring concerned parents!

Birthday Street 14Ratz Backwardz

Posted on: by Bearskinrug

I don’t want to end up in a retirement home. I just bought these tires.

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Featuring Merritt J. Merritt and some perfectly natural rats!

Birthday Street 11Fun Time Pizza Saloon

Featuring Sandra The Speed Dating Woman!

Birthday Street 8A Little Taste of S & M

Posted on: by Bearskinrug

Drinking IS nice, but surely the point of visiting a bar is to hear the staff play their iPod playlists as loud as possible, right?

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Featuring Wizardry Von Spellsmark!

Birthday Street 5A Magical Day At The Department of Motor Vehicles

Featuring several children who will grow up with severe mental problems!

Birthday Street 2Cruel Childhood

Posted on: by Bearskinrug

Mount St. Helens is still volatile, eh? Well, I’d be volatile too if scientists explored my every crevice.

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Posted on: by Bearskinrug

“I’m thinking of buying my own jumbo jet. You know, those big metal birds you shake your crudely-hewn wooden club at?”

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Posted on: by Bearskinrug

“I can’t tell which is thicker… your skull or my lustrous new wall-to-wall stain-resistant carpeting.”

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Posted on: by Bearskinrug

The best insults simultaneously make you look good, and your target look bad. Observe: “I forgive you for sleeping with my livestock.”

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Posted on: by Bearskinrug

I’m changing my name to Steven Edward Arthur Ray Smith so that all my clothing is suddenly monogrammed.

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Posted on: by Bearskinrug

You should never run with scissors. Run with a chainsaw. That’s much more intimidating.

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Posted on: by Bearskinrug

Not all of life’s mysteries are worth answering. My world is no brighter even after finding out whether I could endure Bengay on my scrotum.

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Posted on: by Bearskinrug

“Eye for an Eye” justice is a flawed legal concept. For one thing, it gives spiders the upper hand.

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Posted on: by Bearskinrug

Evolutionarily speaking, lobsters are closely related to bugs. So no wonder there’s so many splattered on the windshield of my speedboat.

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Posted on: by Bearskinrug

Ugh. Just walked into a web outside. Now I’m part of this spider’s stupid in-house project, without a job outline or even a creative brief.

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Posted on: by Bearskinrug

I’m not looking forward to the future. According to the movies, everything emits an annoying, monotonous beep.

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Posted on: by Bearskinrug

If you told me 10 years ago I’d be raising Thoroughbreds for racing contests… no way. But if you said EATING contests… nice job, friend.

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Posted on: by Bearskinrug

It was just a normal, everyday handshake. Suddenly, out of nowhere, thumb war was declared. Now my hand wakes up every night, screaming.

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Posted on: by Bearskinrug

I think I’d like to take up an extreme sport. I can’t decide between heavy smoking or heavy drinking.

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Posted on: by Bearskinrug

I’ve had a change of heart – no more fur coats. From now on, the only skin I’ll be wearing will have come from a glass of overheated milk.

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Posted on: by Bearskinrug

When I first meet a person, I repeat their name in my head so the next time I see them I’ll know who it is I’m too scared to talk to.

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Posted on: by Bearskinrug

As I enter my early 30′s, I’ve started to drink a lot more soda, to stunt any further growth.

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Posted on: by Bearskinrug

I don’t know why everyone was whining about the census. I faced more invasive questions applying to the Burger King Kid’s Club.

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