This is the Stream section, a flow of all the rubbish Kevin commits to the ether.
China’s amazing growth seems to have really revitalized the spam industry.
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If I were to rob a sperm bank, would that make me gay?
At the gym, some guy just emerged from the showers with a jar of petroleum jelly. I’m not sure I want this explained.
Laughter used to be the best medicine, until its patent ran out. Now the best medicine is laughter and a minuscule dose of caffeine.
Artificial Intelligence isn’t just for robots. I spend 24 hours a day pretending to have intelligence.
It’s sad that the best job a mime can hope for is to be on a tv show with a gag about how much people hate mimes.
I now know why they call it a Manhattan. Because it approximates exactly one hour of NY traffic driving over your HEAD.
I switched to a “leave out” conditioner. I can’t tell if it’s working.
A jellyfish is 95% water, the remaining 5% being made up of “gross”.
First, look annoyed at the options the waiting room offers. Then reluctantly page through with a frown. And THAT’S how I read “Glamour”.
At this point, I believe an author who uses prophecy as a storytelling device is lazy and unimaginative. Unless they write fortune cookies.
You know what they say…”piss or get off the pot”. Or “Don’t get on the pot in the first place, because that’s the one we use for stew.”
Oh! I just realized why eggs come in a dozen. One for each member of a jury. Duh.
It sucks that there’s 8 buns in a package, but 10 hot dogs in a pack. Also, it sucks that eggs come in a dozen, but I have 13 neighbors.
There’s a double standard in fashion. A girl wears a man’s shirt and no one bats an eye. But I put in ONE tampon…
If I’m ever captured by cannibals, I hope they eat me for breakfast. It’s the most important meal of the day.
My productivity has skyrocketed since we got rid of our TV. I’m almost finished building a new one!
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