Featuring Sandra the Speed Dating Woman.

Birthday Street 231Future Warnings

Posted on: by Bearskinrug

I don’t take cold showers. Those are for psychopaths!!! I shower in the warm, sane, entrails of a ritually sacrificed goat.

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Announcing-Twee-a-number-between-2-and-3-I-just-invented1

— Announcing Twee, a number between 2 and 3 I just invented!

Its-always-weird-when-you-turn-on-instagram-and-realize-the-camera-is-already-pointing-at-a-better-p1

— It’s always weird when you turn on instagram and realize the camera is already pointing at a better picture than what you intended to shoot.

Featuring Beach Ranger Ferd versus several children.

Birthday Street 228The Taste of Victory

So...-What-fork-do-I-use-for-the-8th-course1

— So… What fork do I use for the 8th course?

This-hand-dryer-works-by-beaming-your-hand-up-and-probing-it-until-its-dry1

— This hand dryer works by beaming your hand up, and probing it until it’s dry.

It-was-an-inopportune-time-for-Pinocchio-to-become-a-real-boy1

— It was an inopportune time for Pinocchio to become a real boy.

Kims-present-to-me-this-morning-had-awesome-type1

— Kim’s present to me this morning had awesome type:

Id-getting-a-snake-if-it-had-fur.-And-instead-of-a-rattle-an-ice-cream-cone1

— I’d getting a snake if it had fur. And instead of a rattle, an ice cream cone.

Caveman-and-treat-frozen-in-ice1

— Caveman and treat frozen in ice:

Featuring Charlie Bear!

Birthday Street 225The Awakening

Posted on: by Bearskinrug

When your job is idea-having, one moment you have nothing and the next you have everything.

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@joerinaldi-s-idea-for-a-better-Doritos-Bag1

— @joerinaldi ‘s idea for a better Doritos Bag:

Currently-running-at-half-capacity-due-to-lack-of-sleep1

— Currently running at half capacity due to lack of sleep.

Heart-trouble1

— Heart trouble:

Posted on: by Bearskinrug

Changing the Brita filter REALLY makes a difference. This glass of pepsi is completely clear!

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No-pizza-April-being-over-I-can-experience-joy-again.-This-is-the-only-picture-in-which-I-wasnt-trem1

— “No-pizza April” being over, I can experience joy again. This is the only picture in which I wasn’t trembling.

Featuring Charlie Bear!

Birthday Street 222Dinner Party Horror Story

Posted on: by Bearskinrug

Getting a GPS has been a real boon for my parents. Now they can argue SOLELY about driving technique.

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Ducks-are-dicks1

— Ducks are dicks:

This-is-the-best-guided-tour-EVER1

— This is the best guided tour EVER!

Mojo-touches-his-toes1

— Mojo touches his toes:

This-zoo-has-robot-sheep1

— This zoo has robot sheep:

This-car-runs-on-potassium1

— This car runs on potassium:

Mojo-offends-the-Navaho-Nation1

— Mojo offends the Navaho Nation:

The-big-rock-outside-our-hotel1

— The big rock outside our hotel:

Kim-is-unimpressed1

— Kim is unimpressed.

Tiny-house1

— Tiny house

Featuring Charlie Bear and Pisscan Pete!

Birthday Street 219Take Back The Dry Cleaning

Monks1

— Monks

Posted on: by Bearskinrug

Good advice to anyone about to shower: “Wash your butt and ears.”

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Crap.-We-accidentally-left-Earths-atmosphere1

— Crap. We accidentally left Earth’s atmosphere.

My-pen-burst-on-the-plane.-Then-the-tissue-I-cleaned-it-with-had-gum-in-it1

— My pen burst on the plane. Then the tissue I cleaned it with had gum in it.

Surprisingly-he-prefers-major-keys1

— Surprisingly, he prefers major keys.

Saw-this-on-the-street.-I-like-it1

— Saw this on the street. I like it.

Wet-monkey1

— Wet monkey:

Ive-started-parting-my-hair-in-the-middle.-I-like-it1

— I’ve started parting my hair in the middle. I like it.

Featuring Little Fucker and his shitty robot!

Birthday Street 216Why, Robot.

I-take-my-coffee-gray-with-sugar-and-whitener1

— I take my coffee gray, with sugar and whitener…